About the Characters
BEEZEL
Beezel is an imp, the underworld’s physical equivalent of a short, portly Latin day-laborer. He hates his job with a passion, believing it beneath him and standing between him and his destiny, uncertain as he is about what that destiny might be. A close friend of Stump and The Colonel, he is hated by Staci more than either of them for his horrible attitude toward both work and authority. Not to mention Staci’s steadfast though still-unproven conviction that the imp places his member inside the demon’s coffee whenever possible.
Beezel is an imp, the underworld’s physical equivalent of a short, portly Latin day-laborer. He hates his job with a passion, believing it beneath him and standing between him and his destiny, uncertain as he is about what that destiny might be. A close friend of Stump and The Colonel, he is hated by Staci more than either of them for his horrible attitude toward both work and authority. Not to mention Staci’s steadfast though still-unproven conviction that the imp places his member inside the demon’s coffee whenever possible.
STUMP
Stump is a mix of ram, lion and chicken parts. There is no mythological name for such a beast because John wasn’t creative enough to come up with one. Rachilion came close but sounded more like the a sauce you’d put on Thai food. Every bit Beezel’s intellectual equal–for better or worse–Stump is somehow able to find peace in the monotony of his job, unlike his rage-filled coworker. Maybe it’s his fulfilling family life. Maybe it’s meditation. Maybe it’s the fact he doesn’t have to flap a pair of wings to get high enough to use a urinal.
Stump is a mix of ram, lion and chicken parts. There is no mythological name for such a beast because John wasn’t creative enough to come up with one. Rachilion came close but sounded more like the a sauce you’d put on Thai food. Every bit Beezel’s intellectual equal–for better or worse–Stump is somehow able to find peace in the monotony of his job, unlike his rage-filled coworker. Maybe it’s his fulfilling family life. Maybe it’s meditation. Maybe it’s the fact he doesn’t have to flap a pair of wings to get high enough to use a urinal.
THE COLONEL
The Colonel is an enigma. Part of that is due to the fact no one can spend that much time around a pulsating, exposed brain, but his mysteries extend well beyond his bizarre construction. A genius in every sense of the word, The Colonel’s interests range from French Revolution-era literature to Black Sabbath bootlegs to vintage 80’s pornography and everything in between. Although no one is quite sure how much he gets out of the last item on that list given the construction of his hands.
The Colonel is an enigma. Part of that is due to the fact no one can spend that much time around a pulsating, exposed brain, but his mysteries extend well beyond his bizarre construction. A genius in every sense of the word, The Colonel’s interests range from French Revolution-era literature to Black Sabbath bootlegs to vintage 80’s pornography and everything in between. Although no one is quite sure how much he gets out of the last item on that list given the construction of his hands.
STACI
The Mephistophelea Staci is an incredibly vindictive, petty sort, even by demon standards. Not much is known of his life outside the workplace. Staci seems as much a fixture in the office as its furniture which, due to his tightfisted ways, looks old enough to date back to when the netherworld was still segregated. Driven completely by greed and the urge to crush his employees’ dreams, Staci would have made a fantastic American CEO in another life.
The Mephistophelea Staci is an incredibly vindictive, petty sort, even by demon standards. Not much is known of his life outside the workplace. Staci seems as much a fixture in the office as its furniture which, due to his tightfisted ways, looks old enough to date back to when the netherworld was still segregated. Driven completely by greed and the urge to crush his employees’ dreams, Staci would have made a fantastic American CEO in another life.
